The key point here is to LEAP into the void without any certainty or attachment to outcome on a deeper level than I have been, as I tend to fly by the seat of my pants catching fallout. There’s that saying “leap and the net will appear.” By peeling away the expectations of society and others, and releasing the remaining threads of any expectations on my own skin, I am looking to free my self-expression and return to a sense of playful exploration within my daily life and curiosities, and in the face of uncertainties to be far more centered in my spirit and being with a physically strong core.
It boils down to ideas society and others tend to not understand or consider another’s POV when one’s life looks different whether or not said person wanted the same things, which most do to some degree, or in the same way.
It’s my not ever believing in my wildest dreams that I’d now be fifty years old without children of my own, to have read them bedtime stories, laughed rolling and playing on the floor at their level, wiped their noses and dried their tears in any sort of so-called modern family.
Or having ever been married, though I am uncertain of this institution or what type of possible partnership I am looking for (which would probably be a combo of non-traditional and new traditions with some sense of nostalgia). No, I am not interested in 50 shades of anything though I aim for beyond 50 colors of light.
Not being in my own studio and home as I wish the layout to be while I still have things in storage now for ten years. Not traveled overseas yet or to the extent of my deep travel desires and integral lifestyle since first glimpse in my teenage girl dreams. And do I want kids now or in what way if so, or do I choose to design an entirely different kind of lifestyle? All these KNOTS to be untangled!
And many more questions and conversations to evolve around and through this until I get to the other side and take that LEAP – maybe by taking bunches of mini-leaps it will add up soon enough to one giant leap! This is where I start, as in Zen, and wipe everything clean and start fresh from a beginner’s mind.
To embrace all the UNEXPECTED things and outcomes along the way in people, art, places, events, experiences, moments, travels, experiments, observations, meanderings…..and embrace the beauty in the imperfections and flawed beauty of everyone and everything. THIS is what I will lean toward in writing into the unexpected. I will go wherever I am led to, where life calls me to go, and share here an alchemy in words and pictures, pictures and words and what is unknown to me now that surfaces on this journey.
‘It’s all good’: I often mistype the word good, as in ‘it’s all God’, which makes me believe in a deeper meaning of a divine spark infusing All that is. Which is why I love to say, as many do, ‘it’s all good.’ And this phrase is my go-to for acceptance of what is, whatever the outcome, it is what it is and that’s that. This last paragraph may sound cliché, but sometimes the simplest mindset can save you. it’s like cleaning one’s mind, clearing the dirt off of the old eyeballs.
So that’s what this LEAP energy is springing up from for me. What about your LEAP energy?
My Semi-Daily Activity Report to the World
As I am still working out the kinks to my process and how I am to organize it – I wish by midnight each day to upload on weekdays unless it is a holiday weekend or if there is a family or personal urgency/emergency. I aim to make no excuses and push through what I tend to let hold me back from action. I will give myself leeway to post weekends or not. I sense I will for this launch month of October do so at least once on the weekend or to do a usual weekend combo – whether actually uploaded on weekend or not though dated for that previous weekend or integrate in Monday’s post. I will leave it up to the timing of whatever is going on at the time. And I might include addendum posts with more to share with regard to process and leaps etcetera.
I will list in an evolving format my DAILIES.
At Radioshack when I refused the warranty and upsell the sales guy felt shutdown so I then released a flurry of personal info about my day/week/life and how I just have all these weird logistics etcetera…we exchanged our first names in kind fashion and left it on a more personal level as I did not allow myself to seem like some indifferent soul to him which I might have done today and forgone any human connection but something added an extra push with this new direction to not let any moment for good pass me by. We all deserve much better no matter what our life and days are like and that’s no excuse to ruin someone else’s day or moment in time that s/he cannot get back. I still cannot stand that upsell so that there sends me to a bad place. I showed my vulnerability and humanness to a complete stranger.
CREATION FOR THE DAY:
I almost forgot about this honestly!
This too, felt physically risky for me as I’ve been away from my artmaking and exploratory processes. This leap onto blank journal pages to just NOT OVERTHINK it and lay down whatever scraps I had from one of my many scrap heaps was so fun! In about twenty minutes I had something. All I wanted to do was put on some shapes and a semblance of strand like stuff to cover the two pages but not fill all the spaces as I normally might. I wanted it to breathe in the possibilities for later reworks and versions like maybe to glue down words. Behold to my surprise WHAT I DID NOT EXPECT TO DO when I transferred the raw image into Photoshop for upload that I would take some time then and there to play with fun brushes that I tend to skip over and never use and mixed up the color. Then I did an erasure layer with the magic wand and added some layer effects and voila! The art pieces uploaded are the before and after. What do you think about this process?
Original music “Tree Hugger” by Karrie Wallace which I haven’t listened to in a looong time! l listened to this repeatedly back in Humboldt, California when I lived there for nine months July 2004 through mid-March 2005.
TRY SOMETHING NEW:
I had some cake as in belated b-day since it’s been a weird week etc…. It is gluten free and I thought it’d be better. I’ve had many GF desserts/products and this one was quite expensive for not so great taste. I’d been eyeballing for a few years and bypassed the brand and flavor I love for much less in price. I might return this. Better the money in my pocket. Just because I try something new does NOT mean I have to like, as I often do when it comes to taste and product purchases in general. I will report other new things from week soon – and I know I did other new stuff today – I did in my art project a bit, explore a new way of doing things especially for getting back on that ole creative horse.
Signing off –