Finding My Focus: An Unexpected Reclaiming
Today I return to this blog to continue my journey into the unexpected. I just flashed on it. Originally I was so excited and caught up with enthusiasm three years ago just bout when I started this blog. Blogging spurred me into action. It held me accountable to myself. And I hope to receive constructive support over time out there in the digital universe. It is for personal reasons I stopped in such a short time that may unfold here in time. I planned on launching a new blog at the start of 2016, and had other plans over the time in between. Just too much overwhelm of life, health, caregiving of parents that continues onward…I am curious how others find balance and remain centered with all that pulls oneself and falls all around in the course of a day that blurs into the next.
Today is the first day in over three months that I have to myself, mostly, and back at home after helping my dad resettle at home since breaking his right femur on New Year’s Day night. It has been a long road of tears and laughs, though in the most recent near four months I have missed myself. I am clawing for my own life, expression and creative output.
Quiet. I long for quiet and time to myself. To be able to hear myself think. To reclaim the brainspace to hold and harness my imagination for fiction stories and poetry. I have begun a new art series, more to share on this evolution, however I long for more consistent productivity in my days. The sporadic and sparse pattern feels almost like an implosion of energy desperately seeking escape. Thankfully the monthly local art crit group here in Las Vegas motivates me to at least get a few works complete and receive positive feedback so I am not creating in a vacuum.
The last thing I wanted to do today was anything online or career oriented or business but I signed up for this 10 day blog challenge. I felt committed to changing my life. Something I know deep down has just GOT to change for me and be different. I cannot continue in the way things have been for some time, a funnel I keep sinking deeper into and farther away from my truth. So here I am on the only day I get to myself. I’d rather be vegging out watching DVD’s! And I will be soon by midnight, escaping into science fiction of the third and final season of Defiance and a comedy or romance. I simply need that to feed my mind sometimes and take me away from reality.
I will return each day and post more art along my creative journey, and throw creative musings, writings, ideas and resources to share with social media links and the like.
I am a go-getter though feel I keep falling flat on my face at every turn. This finding my focus blog entry catapulted me into some sudden spontaneous actions. I wasn’t sure where to blog. I have various sites of little beginnings or simply accounts long dormant yet with decent followings over nothingness. I signed up to relaunch my website for an artist folio site with my godaddy account and my domain since 2004. I discovered the Medium site and very excited about it however was taking too long with my computer glitches. This post says Sept. 11 but it is posting before midnight still on September 10th.
The challenges I am facing are time freedom in the face of caregiving for elderly parents and striking a balance, my own health issues and need to generate money back into my life to help my parents better and live a more authentic life of my choosing through travel and adventure. I tend to let what others need stop me and my own health and money obstacles always finding workarounds that at times are slow and frustrating.
This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 1 on Suitcaseentrepreneur.com